An Email from The Chief

1. The additional application of another 4 squares is authorized until
the job is complete. Never mind that future generations will have to
use pine cones.
2. Stop putting ice on my granddaughter. You have permission to suffer
to whatever extent necessary, or to torture my son-in-law as much as
necessary to fulfill this.
3. You've never heard me say "damn". Stop it.
4. Caleb could use toilet paper to keep his sockless toes from sticking
together, but only 4 squares per foot.
5. Turn up the friggin' thermostat! (I still didn't say "damn")
6. I have a clock I can see from my shower. This eternal life
principle was bestowed upon me by the same people that taught me how to
get squeaky clean with 4 squares of toilet paper.
7. You talk too much about toilet paper.
Love,
Your Maligned Dad