Sunday, December 28, 2008

She's a Fast Learner

This morning we're just hanging out in the living room and Blythe was doing one of her favorite past times which is unloading Caleb's wallet. She used to take everything out, but this morning, she went straight for the cash. She left everything else, but took out $45 and headed for her car where she proceeded to hide it in the hood. She's been taking it in and out, adding stacking cups etc... for the past 20 minutes and is still going strong. Somehow she has learned that the cash is the good stuff. I've never been so proud!

As you can see, she has also picked up on how to mug for the camera. This is her, "I'm hilarious!" face.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Sick Baby


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

I Fired the Realtor.

If you are like me you will read the above title to the tune of "I Shot the Sheriff." Monday afternoon marked the third time our realtor forgot to tell us someone was coming to look at the house. At around 4:30 I was about 2 minutes out of the shower, luckily it's cold enough that I got dressed right away. The house was a mess from a full day of living in it. I'm pretty sure the entire toy box was dispersed around the living room and I hadn't even made the bed. Sasquatch was inside with no collar on. Caleb said they knocked once and then were unlocking the door. Before he could do anything the door was opening and Sasquatch was running towards it. By the time I came out of the bedroom they were already in the kitchen and Caleb had Squatch in a headlock on the living room floor. Needless to say I'm pretty sure the house didn't make a great impression and I was furious. After the second time this happened I had called the realtor and told him as calmly as possible that we really needed the warning since all three of us are in the house all day long. We are never show ready without being told to be. So as soon as they left I called him up and asked if I had missed a call from him that day. His reply was, "Oh yeah, did someone come look at the house?" I went off. Apparently, I was scary enough that Caleb and Blythe left the room. However, he didn't even put up a fight so I didn't get to release all my wrath. Yesterday, he came to get the signs and the lockbox off the door and I caught him at the door otherwise the coward wasn't even gonna knock.
So let it be known... I do not recommend John Perrault as a realtor.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Henry Paulson

Interesting notes on the Paulson Era...

One thing to keep in mind, Paulson is the former CEO of Goldmans Sachs.

AIG is Goldman Sachs largest daily trading partner, something to the tune of $20B in obligations to Goldman Sachs. If AIG failed, it would crush Goldman Sachs.

In his proposed plan to Congress regarding the $700B bailout, he included this little note.

  • "Decisions by the Secretary pursuant to the authority of this Act are non-reviewable and committed to agency discretion, and may not be reviewed by any court of law or any administrative agency."

Sept 30, 2008: Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein was the only Wall Street executive allowed to attend the Federal Reserves AIG bailout talks.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

You Might Need a Drink Before Reading This One

http://sec.online.wsj.com/article/SB122887075956093233.html

For Erin, here is the Abstract:

On Monday, The US Conference of Mayors met on Capitol Hill to ask for a $73 Billion "Infrastructure" bailout.

That bailout includes almost $100 million in tennis courts and $94 million for a parking garage at the Orange Bowl.

The mayor of Arlington, TX needs $4,000,000 to expand their Tennis Center.

Obnoxious.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Blythe's Birthday Party

Sunday we had Blythe's First Birthday Party!! Her birthday is technically Friday, but we thought Caleb was going to have to be overseas so we moved it up. The trip got moved back, but the party remained where it was.



Our families came over and we ate some food, opened some presents, had some cake, and mostly just laughed at Blythe. I'm not sure what we used to do when the family got together before she was around. Now everyone just stares at her, but she doesn't seem to mind.


Some of the highlights are as follows...

She got a rocking chair and monkey from Mama J and Papa Tim.


A walker from Mommy and Daddy. Currently being pushed around on her knees. We're gonna work on the point of the walker later today.

A firetruck (she's chewing on a firewoman below) from Grandma Johnson and Papa Tim, and an octopus that sings when you throw stuff in it from Lainie and Pops aka the Chief aka Grandad... we don't quite have an official name for him yet.

Then it was time for cake...
The first taste didn't go over so good...

But after a couple more tastes she didn't mind it so much...

She was highly uninterested in eating any cake. She's very much a lover of salt like her Daddy. She licked some icing off her fingers and then went back to the toys.
Thanks everyone for helping us celebrate. We love you guys!!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

True Love

Just wanted to brag on Caleb for a moment. A couple nights ago I got up with Blythe around 3 in the morning to feed her. When I came back to bed Caleb had been lying on my side so it would be warm when I got back. Now that is a good man!! I love you, Cabe!!

Friday, December 5, 2008

OOOOOOkay

Yet another wild kingdom episode in the Johnson household tonight...
Monday they started to put a new roof on our house, and tore off all the shingles. Tuesday they ran out of new ones, so they finished up Wednesday afternoon. Wednesday night we began hearing noises in the exhaust vent over the stove. We called the Chief, because he's the handy go to guy, and he said it was probably just the flap on top loose and blowing in the wind. All day Thursday we kept hearing noises and it didn't sound like a flap on top of the house noise. It sounded like something sitting right on top of the hood in our kitchen. Thursday night Caleb climbed onto the roof and, lo and behold, no loose flap. So we're thinking if a bird has flown into this vent it's been in there at least a couple days now and is probably getting close to death. So tonight after another whole day of scratching and flapping noises, Caleb pries open the exhaust tube and peeks inside only to find himself eye to eye with a giant mouse.
For the time being, he closed back the tube and we prepared the kitchen for battle. Towels under all the doors, gloves on our hands, and tried to get Sasquatch to pay attention. When everything was ready we opened up the tube again and waited. The first attempt the mouse made to climb out Caleb tried to grab it, but it freaked out and fell back to the bottom. We then got a stick and put that into the tube... sort of a ramp apparatus for the mouse. This time it made a run for it with gusto. It jumped out of the tube, bounced off the coutertop and then hit the floor where Sasquatch quickly took interest. It got hurt bouncing off all the hard surfaces from such a great height, so it wasn't really running. This gave Squatch the chance to play with it in the kitchen. Then we had to try and keep Squatch back, get the mouse in a towel, and throw it out the back door.
One of these days I'm going to get the video camera for one of these episodes. We get all jumpy and scream and yell and I'm sure it's hilarious to watch. When we finally got the mouse outside, my heart was beating like crazy.
Here the story goes from slightly entertaining to kind of sad. The mouse was injured and Sasquatch just kept playing with it. So Caleb went to the garage and emerged with a big stick. I stayed inside for the rest of the story, but there was yet another mouse casualty in the Johnson house making the score Johnsons 2 - Mice 0.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Eco Sites

www.carbonrally.com

  • Take a challenge or post a challenge to reduce your carbon footprint.

www.catalogchoice.org

  • Opt out of the catalogs that you don't want/need.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Peace Out Mac

Tonight I am boxing up the Mac and shipping it off to its new home.  I have never quite forgiven it for dying on me last month, so I have sold it on Ebay.  I feel very good about my decision, and have already used the money to buy a non-Apple laptop that will arrive the day before Thanksgiving.  If you put that together I will be sans computer until then, so won't be quite so Johnny-on-the-spot with email.  Bon Voyage Mac.  


Here are some random pictures of B.  Taking pictures of an 11 month old is a sport unto itself.  She's quick and wants the camera, so most of my pictures of her end up like these...


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

http://www.bailoutsleuth.com/

Adding together the $170 billion that the Treasury Department has currently agreed to provide banks in additional capital, the $150 billion that the Treasury Department and the Federal Reserve are providing to AIG and the $2 trillion that the Federal Reserve has provided banks in emergency loans brings the total assistance to $2.32 trillion.

If the estimated savings from the new tax breaks are included, the assistance would climb to $2.46 trillion. That total does not include other measures not focused directly on banks, such as Treasury Department's $200 billion in support for Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and the Federal Housing Administration's $300 billion HOPE for Homeowners program.

Monday, November 10, 2008

I apple-ogize

I have to take it back.  They explained the whole bench thing on Saturday night.  Apparently, the Tech kids all stand on the stadium benches.  When they all start jumping up and down and what not the benches break.  So when a bench breaks they simply pass it out of the way.  Makes sense.  So I apologize (yes, I know how to spell it).


However, I really want them to catch on film the moment one of these benches breaks with 20 people standing on it.  That's gotta be at least a little funny!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

I Blame Yale

This will be the first time in 40 years that Yale will not have one of its former students on the ballot as president or vice president. Not since Richard Nixon and Spiro Agnew battled Hubert H. Humphrey and Edmund Muskie in 1968 has Yale been shut out.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Happy Halloween!

It's Bumble B!!

I must also comment on the Texas vs. Texas Tech game.  Not on the game itself but on the insanity of the Tech students.  Did anyone notice, sometime in the 1st half, the students passing one of the stadium benches down??  Lets walk through this...
1.  Those benches are bolted down.  So either you had to use a ridiculous amount of brute force... or you somehow smuggled some sort of drill into the stadium.  Either way it took some planning.  
2.  Those benches hold 20-25 people.  So you had to convince 19-24 other people to remove the bench they were all sitting on.  Who are these people that when some drunk frat kid goes, "Let's tear this bench out!!" you all go, "Heck ya! Lets tear this bench out!!"  And are probably a little mad they didn't think of it themselves.
3.  It was their own stadium.  Why are they always destroying their own stadium?  If you're so excited tear somebody else's stuff up... idiots.


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Useless Conversations

This past weekend we drove to Houston and back on Saturday for one of Caleb's childhood friend's wedding. Rachel Blythe Durr, now Parker, to be exact... and yes, it's where Caleb got our little one's name. It was in Kingwood, Tx which is where Caleb grew up for the most part. We have been there before, mostly for MacFest, so I've gotten the tour, but that did not stop Caleb from pointing out everything again. "I once stopped to tie my shoe over there." "One time I sneezed over there." You get the idea. He has also been driving to Houston a lot for work, so this caused the useless pointing out of landmarks to continue on our journey home. I eventually commented on how chatty he was being, which somehow lead to us trying to figure out what percentage of our conversations together were useless. After much debate we decided on 65%.

We had left Houston at 8:30pm, so it was getting pretty late and we pulled into a Sonic for a caffeine boost. We apparently were in the only part of the US of A that didn't have a Starbucks. As many of you might know I used to work at Sonic, so anytime we go Caleb likes to quiz me on how things work. I decided to have a M&M blast, which caused Caleb to ask me what it was. I told him it was like a sundae. He told me I was wrong, which considering I'm like the queen of ice cream seemed weird. He claimed that a sundae consisted of 5 main ingredients: ice cream, chocolate syrup, nuts, whipped cream, and a cherry on top. Well, we ALL know that's just incorrect. So I went on to tell him that the Sonic menu alone had at least 4 other kinds of sundaes and those didn't even begin to cover the whole world of sundae toppings. He asked what those would be so I went on to list out some of the choices: strawberry, caramel, hot fudge, and even pineapple. "Pineapple?" he asked. Yes, pineapple, like on a banana split, I told him. He replied, "So I could hit the button and say I would like pineapple on my sundae." "Yes, you could say exactly that." He then tried to say this horrific joke, "Well, I only like pineapple on my Mondays." Only, much to my delight it didn't come out like that. It had at least 3 extra "s's" in it. I can't even really write what he said, but here's my attempt. "Well, I onsly like pisnesapples ons my Mondays." After I stopped mocking him, I pointed out that this would be a fantastic example of the 65% of our conversations that are useless.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

I couldn't make this up if I tried...

Last night we spent the night at my parents. They installed our new countertops yesterday and it stunk. I rocked Blythe to sleep and put her to bed and when I came back to the living room there was a really old copy of Pilgrim's Progress on the end table. So I pointed to it and asked, "What's with the book?" Turns out Caleb had never read it. Somehow that had come up and my parents were lending him their copy. Now, hold that thought for a moment.

My family has what I like to call Corbinisms. Things we say all the time, that I don't even realize are strange until I say them in front of people outside the Corbin family and am met with silence and worried looks. One of the most used sayings is, "Get in Ida!" Way back in the day when cars were just replacing horse drawn carriages my great Uncle Elzie and great Aunt Ida were getting used to their new car. The story goes that Ida was a little slow getting in this new fangled contraption so my Uncle Elzie would just start the car and get moving before Ida was completely in the car. This would leave her hopping along beside the moving vehicle trying to get both feet in and the door closed all the while Elzie would be yelling, "Get in, Ida!!"

Back to last night.
I asked what was with the book and this was my dad's answer. I would call it a conversation, except it wasn't. He just kept talking. At times, the other 3 of us were talking over him or laughing about something, but he never really stopped his story. So here is what he said as close to verbatim as I can get it.

"You know that has Ida Parr's name in the front of that book. Ida as in "Get in, Ida!" Did you know that we lived with the Parrs while Daddy (my grandpa George) built our little house. The house that later became the first library in Coppell. It was not the greatest of houses. The floors were so slanted that you could sit against one wall, roll a ball to the other wall and it would come back to you. It wasn't very tight either. One night I got up to go to the bathroom and got stung on the toe by a scorpion. We had one of those crank phones too. (He is pantomiming holding the receiver to his ear with his left hand and cranking with his right.) You would say, 'Mrs. Barfnecht, connect me to Pleasant Corbin please.' My Uncle Pleasant Corbin lived across the street. He had a motorcycle with a sidecar. He also had a pet goat and he would put that goat in the side car and ride around with it."

His soliloquy ended there. What else can you say after you've given the mental picture of a man named Pleasant riding around on a motorcycle with a goat in his side car.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Bailout Details

There are 3 main reasons why I think this bill failed. 1) The $750B could be used to "repurchase assets troubling the US Financial System." This doesn't mean US assets. The Treasury had full plans of purchasing Europen and Asian failing assets. 2) During the Savings and Loan crisis, 4,000 banks failed. During the current crisis, it is less than 75. 3) Henry Paulson -

A quote from Congressmen AKIN of MO, "My colleagues, a week ago we were approached by Secretary Paulson, and he told us that there was a crisis and that he had a solution. He gave us the horns of a dilemma, two sharp, shiny points that we could impale ourselves on. One, that the financial system was going to collapse and implode, and the sky was going to fall. Certainly we wouldn't want to choose that. The other, we could write a $700 billion blank check. Those were our two choices.

The Details: - and I predict...Henry Paulson will go down as the single worst Treasury Secretary in the history of America.

• Provide up to $700 billion, starting with an initial $250 billion, to allow the Treasury Department to purchase troubled assets, mainly in the area of mortgages, that are weighing down the U.S. financial system.

• Give the Treasury Department, working with experts chosen by the government, the authority to fashion the asset purchase program. Treasury officials have suggested that a key approach will be the use of "reverse auctions" in which financial firms who succeed in selling their assets to the government will be the ones willing to take a lower price than other bidders.

• Impose restrictions on the pay and benefits received by executives whose companies are selling some of their bad assets through the government's purchase program.

• Require the Treasury to provide details of its purchases within two days of the transactions; various oversight boards would be created to monitor the operation of the program.

• Give taxpayers ownership stakes in companies whose bad assets are purchased. After five years, if the government is facing a loss in the program, the president would be required to submit a plan recommending how the money can be recouped from financial companies.

• Establish a program for banks to buy government insurance that would cover the principal and interest on certain troubled assets, rather than selling them outright. Premiums would vary depending on the assets' risk profile.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

You're right, Clay, this isn't funny... it's freakin' hilarious!



Caleb is telling me that there shouldn't be a comma before Clay... only after. I think it should be the way I wrote it... anyone want to chime in on that?

Happy Birthday, Cindy!!

Technically, yesterday was Cindy's birthday, but I got this picture today, so I'm a day late, excuse moi.

Once upon a time, Cindy told us she had a stand up bear cake pan. Janet and I were skeptical, as you might imagine, that such a fantastic invention existed, and it didn't help when Cindy "couldn't find it." Much like if someone told you they had a pet leprechaun, but then couldn't find it. But Cindy found the cake pan and so for her birthday (plus one day) Janet and I decided to make her a stand up bear cake. I baked the cake, and then Janet, whose taking cake decorating at Hobby Lobby, iced him. I think he turned out pretty cute.... TAAAA DAAAAA....

Monday, September 22, 2008

NBC News at 10

"A banana chases a monkey, and both end up in jail."

Apparently, the police "didn't think the prank was funny," but I find the fact that this was the top news story HI-larious!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

For Those Interested in what is Happening in the Economy

Excerpts from 2 WSJ articles. The second one is linked if you want to read the whole thing.


1: "Gone is the faith, shared by the nation's leadership with varying degrees of enthusiasm, that the best road to prosperity is to unleash financial markets to allocate capital, take risks, enjoy profits, absorb losses. Erased is the hope that markets correct themselves when they overshoot...

But in the past 2 weeks, the US government, keeper of hte flame of free markets and private enterprise, has:

- nationalized the two engines of the US mortgage industry, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and flooded the mortgage market with taxpayer funds to keep it going'

- crafted a deal to seize the nation's largest insurer, American International Group, Inc, fired its CEO and moved to sell it off in pieces.

- extended government insurance beoyond bank deposits to $3.4 trillion in money-market mutual funds for a year (remember that there is no gold standard, so the government has to issue debt to back these investments. Debt that is purchased by foreign governments and investors, not all who wish to see the US succeed -cj)

- banned, for 799 financial stock, a practice at the heart of stock trading, the short-selling in which investors seek to profit fram falling stock.

- allowed or encouaged the collaps or sale of two of the four remaining, free-standing investment banks, Lehman Brothers and Merrill Lynch;

- asked Congress by next week to agree to stick taxpayers with hundreds of billions of dollars of illiquid assets from financial institutions so those institutions can raise capital and resume lending (you now own the foreclosed house next to you, but will recieve no direct benefit from your investment -cj)"

- David Wessel -WSJThe Panic of 1792

2: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122186662036058787.html

Savings and Loan Crisis:

It used to be that savings-and-loan associations were staid institutions that stuck to home loans and lured savings-account depositors with blankets and toasters. But during the 1980s, the industry expanded wildly into commercial real-estate lending, spurred by deregulation and poor regulation, according to Mr. Blinder.The business model worked as long as the S&Ls made more money on their loans than they had to pay for deposits. But the model broke down when interest rates rose, and the institutions found themselves paying more for deposits than they earned from fixed-rate loans in their portfolios."In addition," said Mr. Blinder, "they went into a lot of what could only be called stupid real-estate investments."From 1986 through 1995, about half of the 3,234 S&Ls in the U.S. closed, leaving federal insurers stuck with tens of billions of dollars in bad loans. In 1989, after eight months of debate, Congress created the Resolution Trust Corp. to make depositors whole, investigate allegations of wrongdoing and deal with the husks of the S&L industry.At the time, skeptics warned that government was reaching too far into the marketplace, and predicted darkly the RTC would be saddled with bad assets for generations.Indeed, the government ended up owning shopping centers, homes and resorts, along with an odd collection of assets put up as collateral for S&L loans, including Picasso and Warhol paintings, a 30-horse merry-go-round, a Colonial-era whiskey distillery, a drawstring made from Martha Washington's gown and 800 units of semen from a registered Brahma bull.By the time the S&L cleanup was over, it had cost U.S. taxpayers about $124 billion in non-inflation-adjusted dollars, according to FDIC research. Mr. Davison, the FDIC historian, wrote in a 2006 journal article: "Perhaps a measure of the RTC's success is that little more than a decade after it closed, this agency that provoked so much debate is now largely forgotten."

Tha Panic of 1792:
The nation's first president was in his first term when the U.S. ran into its first financial panic.
In 1791, the federal government assumed obligations that such states as Massachusetts and South Carolina owed from the Revolutionary War, part of a larger deal that included moving the national capital from New York to Philadelphia to Washington. Taking on the states' obligations added about $18 million to a total U.S. domestic debt of $65 million -- debt securities that proved attractive to financial speculators.
Primary among them was William Duer, a well-connected New York businessman who schemed to start a New York bank to drive down the price of Bank of New York stock and win control of BONY on the cheap. He and his colleagues also intended to corner the market on government 6% bonds, so-called Sixes.
Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton, the founder of BONY, watched the developments with alarm. "I have learnt with infinite pain the circumstance of a new Bank having started up in your City," Mr. Hamilton wrote to a New York associate, according to research by economic historians Richard Sylla, Robert E. Wright and David J. Cowen. "Its effects cannot but be in every view pernicious," because of the damage they caused to "the whole system of public Credit, by disgusting all sober Citizens and giving a wild air to everything."
The price for Sixes in New York jumped markedly from early December to mid-January. By March, the bubble had burst, with the price of the bonds dropping 25% over two weeks.
Working without a historical blueprint, Hamilton engineered an innovative response. The Treasury borrowed money from the banks and used it to buy government bonds, lifting the market price. He also told banks to accept bonds as collateral for loans to securities brokers, with the government guaranteeing the collateral.
"What Hamilton did in 1792 is just like what Paulson and Bernanke are doing now," said Mr. Sylla, who teaches at the Stern School of Business at New York University.
The financial system stabilized in April, and not a single bank failed until 1809. Mr. Hamilton's improvisation did the trick, or at least so concludes Mr. Wright, also at NYU. He named his son Alexander Hamilton Was Wright.


The Panic of 1907:
The century that followed was punctuated by financial instability. There was the panic of 1819, during which states passed laws delaying foreclosures on real estate and personal property.
In 1841, another bout of financial volatility sent land values plummeting. States that had been depending on land taxes suddenly found themselves short of cash; nine of them defaulted on their debts. There was talk of a federal bailout, but Congress balked. Some states raised taxes and paid up; others swapped canals or other assets with their creditors.
"There were banking panics all of the time," said Princeton University economist Alan Blinder, former vice chairman of the Federal Reserve Board. "The banking panic of 1907 was particularly pernicious."
One immediate cause of the panic involved a failed attempt to corner the market on stock in a particular copper company. That led to a run on banks and trusts that had made loans for the plot, starting with the Knickerbocker Trust Co. Public confidence in other financial institutions soon evaporated.
The Treasury injected millions of dollars into the banking system. But it was really J. Pierpont Morgan (JPMorgan), the banking magnate and undisputed king of New York financial markets, who saved the day. He had been in Virginia for a church conference when the panic hit, and he took an overnight train back to New York City. He dispatched his lieutenants to figure out which banks were in the worst trouble, then he called the bankers to his home. Working through the night, he browbeat the others into forming a joint pool of capital that they would use to pay depositors at banks that faced runs.
Once depositors saw that they were going to get their money, the panic eased. "Where's J.P. Morgan when we need him?" joked Mr. Blinder.
Six years later, Congress established the Federal Reserve system, creating a lender of last resort for the country's financial system.


The Great Depression:
By 1933, four years after the infamous stock-market crash, about 1,000 American homeowners a day were losing their houses to the bank. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Congress created the Home Owners' Loan Corp., an ambitious government agency designed to prevent foreclosures on an enormous scale.
The agency bought defaulted mortgages from banks, then refinanced them at lower rates for fixed, 15-year terms. Over the three years it accepted applications, the agency was swamped with 1.9 million requests; about half of the applicants had monthly incomes of between $50 and $150.
Ultimately, the agency issued mortgages, averaging $3,039 apiece, to some one million homeowners. About one in 10 Americans with nonfarm, owner-occupied dwellings secured aid from the agency, according to a 1951 paper by C. Lowell Harriss of Columbia University.
The current mortgage crisis involves securities backed by subprime home loans. But during the 1930s, there was no secondary market for securitized mortgages. So the agency had to hold the mortgages for the full terms. It finally closed up shop in 1951, with about 80% of borrowers having paid their loans off on time or early.
The agency earned the government a small profit. "You save 80% of the people from being tossed out of their homes, and it didn't end up costing the government a dollar," said Lee Davison, a historian at the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp., another Great Depression creation.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Things Said in my House Tonight

"I like my beans like a good merlot. I want them to rip the saliva right off my tongue."
- Caleb

Courtney: "I will never lose you, I can always follow the trail of dripping. I mean look at your shirt... what's wrong with you? You were drinking water from a glass, how did it even get on your shirt?"
Caleb: "I don't like to close my mouth all the way."

That last conversation sounds like it was said in anger, but I was actually laughing uncontrollably when I asked him what was wrong with him... good times.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Stupid Mac

My computer died. I shut it down last Tuesday and it never woke up again. At least it went peacefully in its sleep. We took it to the Apple store last night and they told us the hard-drive was dead and we wouldn't be getting any of our stuff back. Music, videos, and pictures, mostly of Blythe, all gone. It's heartbreaking. Stupid Mac with your lies about never breaking down.

I then had to sit through Caleb writing a song about me insisting on getting a Mac and how if he had to do it over again he would've gotten a Dell. Catchy tune... dang him.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

I am officially boycotting MTV...forever.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

For your consideration...

May I recommend Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. I lovely little sweet and silly bit of ridiculousness.

Shortly after finishing it I almost dropped my library card in the toilet. That would've been unfortunate.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Wedding Coordinators

This last weekend we went to a friend of Caleb's wedding in Fort Worth. As we're walking up to the church this lady stops us at the door and goes "Holland/Carter Wedding?" like she was a bouncer keeping people from just wandering in off the street. Really, I don't know her purpose. This made me think back to all the church wedding coordinators I've run into in my life. I have been in a couple weddings in the same church (which will remain nameless), but the lady there has sucked the fun out of every rehearsal. She doesn't allow talking, laughing, smiling, or merriment of any kind. I mean give us some credit. At some point in our lives, we've all had the summer where like 5 different people get married, and let's face it, it's not rocket science. You walk down slow, but not too slow, don't hold the flowers too high, etc, etc...
This wedding was one of the worst case of church wedding coordinator-itis ever. There were 3 of them and they had walkie talkies. We all know when you give someone a walkie talkie you have handed them all power and decision making responsibilities in the situation. The first one barely let us in the door. After the ceremony, we went out to the car to get their gift and walked back in the same door. I'm walking, holding a present, towards the present table and she appears from no where and goes "Holland/Carter Wedding?" again. Let me take a moment to tell you Holland/Carter Wedding was plastered everywhere on the church, there was no misreading where you were. I wanted to say something along the lines of, "Who?? I just wandered in with this present and thought I would leave it here." But instead I just smiled and said "Yes."
So they have everyone roped into this one section, but the poor planning was that the ladies restroom, was not in that section. It was in the section with the present table that I happened to be in, so I turned to go that way and I feel her following me. Granted, I was heading in the direction of the sanctuary where they were taking pictures, but she followed me all the way to the bathroom door. I tried to bob and weave a couple times to lose her on the way, but she was too good. On the way out of the bathroom I passed about 10 girls coming in, so I think there must have been a hostile takeover.
Then I'm waiting outside for Caleb who had to fight his way into the men's bathroom. He finally makes it out, but tells me that he had to face another woman to get out of the building. I guess the door he was trying to leave through was by the buffet and the lady actually grabbed his arm... like he was trying to steal the roast beef or something, and says, "Where do you think you're going?" By this time we were a little done with these ladies, so he jerked his arm out of her hand and said, "I'm trying to leave the building."
Makes me think back to our wedding rehearsal where the wedding coordinator made us all do a Jewish ritual. I don't remember what it was, because at the time we were all looking at each other and going, "She knows we're not Jewish right?"

Friday, August 22, 2008

7 Rules for Making Your Home Life Happier

Questionnaire from the June 1933 issue of American Magazine in an article entitled, "Why Marriages go Wrong."

For Wives
1. Do you give your husband complete freedom in his business affairs, and do you refrain from criticizing his associates, his choice of a secretary, or the hours he keeps?
2. Do you try your best to make your home interesting and attractive?
3. Do you vary the household menu so that he never quite knows what to expect when he sits down to the table?
4. Do you have a intelligent grasp of your husband's business so you can discuss it with him helpfully?
5. Can you meet financial reverses bravely, cheerfully, without criticizing your husband for his mistakes or comparin him unfavorably with more successful men?
6. Do you make a special effort to get along amiably with his mother or other relatives?
7. Do you dress with an eye for you husband's likes and dislikes in color and style?
8. Do you comproives little differences of opinion in the interest of harmony?
9. Do you make an effort to learn games your husband likes, so you can share his leisure hours?
10. Do you keep track of the day's news, the new books, and new ideas, so you can hold your husband's intellectual interest?

Interestingly, this is all probably still good advice.
In keeping with #10 we've started getting the Wall Street Journal and I've been trying to at least read the front section. So far that's about as far as I can get before I get too mad and frustrated at the world to continue!

However, I was delightfully surprised to find a review of the movie "House Bunny" with Anna Faris. I don't really think my movie tastes probably match up with the good old WSJ, but I thought it was funny they did a review of it anyway. I picture some Anderson Cooper-esque guy having to write, "Shelley herself learns, for instance, that life is about more than being sexy; it's about being true to yourself." HA!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Things that make me Happy

I have omitted the obvious...these are in no other order than when they pop into my head

1. Getting my nails and toes done... today I have chosen almost black for my nails, to match my mood
2. Good food, preferably cooked by someone else
3. Dancing with Blythe
4. Good music that I know every word to. Good being subjective... I know every word to Fergalicious
5. Caleb playing the guitar
6. Getting new books... THANKS JANET!!
7. Porch swings or really any swing
8. Cokes, candy, and anything fried... I know I'm a 5 year old
9. Going to the movies by myself
10. Wine, especially Rieslings.
11. Vodka, especially in a dirty martini with extra olives
12. My Aunt Tate's pickles... only 2 more weeks until I can eat myself silly
13. Walking through Anthropologie
14. Friday night dinners with Hayley

I could probably go on, but I will stop with those.

Monday, August 11, 2008

The Kids

I'm working on my funk... thanks everyone for your sweet words!

Sasquatch Puppykins, as she is affectionately called, has gained some weight. I tried to take a picture, but she's so dark you can't really tell. Since we got a gym membership we don't run with her but maybe once a week anymore. We also give her people food all the time. Yes, we're those people, but we've officially cut her off and she is P-I-issed. Last night she actually stole food from Blythe. So she's adjusting, goes back and forth between mad at us and pouty.

Our other baby, Blythe, has found her voice... and the volume seems to be stuck on LOUD. She's figuring out how to make her voice really high-pitched and screaming. She can make it really low, but it is always LOUD. She's loud. Her laugh, cracks me up everytime I hear it. It's more of a guffaw with a squeak at the end. It's so deep it doesn't seem to fit her until she squeaks at the end. It is greatness.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Funk

I'm in a funk. I have chosen not to write about the myriad of things that come to mind right now so I won't depress all of you.

You're welcome

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Such is Life

Everytime I turn around I feel like at least 2 weeks have gone by, but here's some random stuff...
Monday morning some troops left for overseas from Wylie (where my parents live) and we went out to see them off. This was a cute little bunch. I will say as the boys rolled by there wasn't a dry eye on the street and my mom kept mocking me for not bringing sunglasses to hide my tears, but since everyone was crying I didn't feel like such a dork. God Bless our Troops!
This I just think is funny...

Sleepy sweet potato face...
The latest thing is to pull up on things and then pull everything down within reach. My shoes seem to be fun for this activity, which is why the closet door is always closed now.


The magazine rack is another favorite and I pick up all the magazines at least once a day.
She's getting pretty good at falling... meaning not straight back so that everytime I think she's cracked her skull. She now falls onto her bumper (shout out to you Kanakuk kids!) and as long as it is quickly followed by a round of applause doesn't get upset about it (thanks for that idea, Erin!). I promise she is my child even though she looks just like her daddy.
Caleb's new job is going pretty good although our little house is feeling quite small lately. We're looking into ways to fix that, we'll keep you posted.

That's about it... welcome back to Texas Ben and Alli!!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Caleb's First Day

Today was Caleb's first day of working from home. His computer didn't arrive until early this afternoon, so he didn't have a lot going on this morning. As it turns out, the problem was not me talking to him, but him talking to me. Apparently, me and B have a bit of a routine going on and he threw wrench into our morning. It was nice having another pair of hands with the baby, but then she took a nap and, as you moms out there know, this is when you get stuff done. Unfortunately, this is when Caleb being here became a problem. As I was trying to do things he was just underfoot. Talking to me with this big goofy grin on his face, following me around chattin' it up, and I'm not a big talker to begin with. Since B's nap is usually when I get to be by myself I did not appreciate the company. It is under these circumstances that this morning at about 10:30 I uttered the words, "If you don't stop talking to me, I'm going to have to kill you."

Friday, July 11, 2008

Unproduced Music is Better

If you are interested in a cover, skip to 5:45...

Monday, July 7, 2008

Things Said in my House Tonight

I like music... it makes life happy.

Have you ever heard Yo Yo Ma play Bach's cello solos?
Say Yo Yo Ma again.
It will change your life.

Then Panic at the Disco played "Take a Load off Annie."
And all in the house smiled.

Friday, June 20, 2008

I'm Baaaack

Sorry, I have much to report on, but it just got to be so much that I couldn't ever sit down to write about it so I will be doing the short short version and try and catch up on everything.
First up.. Casey Face came to visit! This was about a month ago now, but it was wonderful. Let me take this moment to explain that her last name is not Face, as she pointed out most people probably think it is. Face is a nickname which I just realized I don't actually know where she got it or why. I'm pretty sure it started at camp, but before I ever arrived there, so I just jumped on the bandwagon. I must say though it fits her perfectly, so kudos to whoever came up with it!
Anyhoo, Face is me in Tennessee, meaning we're the same person. Which means usually when she comes to visit we just sit around and vegitate together. Something got into us this time though and we were uber-productive. It was ridiculous! We rearranged furniture, hung pictures, finished the bathroom (that one was kind of a must, since she needed to use that bathroom), and even fit in a movie somehow. She was unbelievably helpful in getting ready for Blythe's blessing the next weekend (I'll report on that at a different time) and amazing at letting me just unload on her. I don't think I've talked that much in a year and I had cotton mouth the entire time. It was such a great weekend and I'm so thankful to her for flying out here.
I love you, Face!!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Beedy Little Eyed Freak!

  We leave our back door open a lot because Sasquatch is insane.  That's a different story for a different day, the door being open is the detail you need for this story.  On more than one occasion I have walked into the kitchen to find a bird eating from Squatch's bowl, but as soon as I round the corner they'll fly back outside.  It makes me jump every time, but things could be worse.

  Today... things got worse.  I was minding my own business, folding some laundry on the couch, when I hear a THUMP against one of the front windows.  I look up and see a fluttering and thought a bird had hit the window from the outside.  Then I hear the same THUMP behind me, and turn around to see it.  The beedy little eyed freak flying around my house.  He's doing laps basically, running into the front window and then hitting the mirror on the back wall.  Well, as any logical mama would do, I grab Blythe and put her in her room and close the door.  My "logical" thought was that the bird was somehow going to peck my baby's eyes out... I don't know why, but that was the first thing that went through my head.  Then I get my phone and call Caleb.  Caleb is at work.  I have no idea what purpose I thought he would have in the matter, I just needed to tell someone there was a bird in the house and he seemed like the logical choice.   Let's face it at this point all reason had left my brain.    
  So I'm standing in the hall doing the "hop from one leg to the other, I've got to pee" dance and whining about the bird in the house to Caleb.  His first question is, "What's Sasquatch doing?"  Sasquatch is doing nothing, because it's trash day which means she's hiding in our bedroom, because she's insane.  Again, different story for a different day.  Caleb tells me to get a blanket to throw over the bird which I can then carry outside and release the bird.  During this conversation the bird goes back into the kitchen.  I follow to see that the backdoor has somehow closed and the bird is just ramming it repeatedly.  So instead of throwing the blanket over the bird, I put it over my head to shield me from attack (I put the phone down, but made Caleb stay on the line... again, we are without reason by this time).  I run into the kitchen causing the bird to fly into the ceiling and then it starts ramming the window and I get the door open and run back into the doorway.  It is at this time that Sasquatch appears almost knocks me over in her mad rush to get outside, leaving me and the bird inside to battle it out.  Then the bird lands on the top of the door, so I do the girly "Shoo" motion and it flies outside.  At which point, Sasquatch comes back inside and gives me the "What are we doing?" face.  
  So my dog would never survive in the wild.  She probably wouldn't survive in a parking lot filled with bacon, but she will now have to survive without the door being open all the time cause homey don't play birds in the house!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Sonic Fun

***Disclaimer: If you are or have ever been in the color guard, you may find this post offensive.***

This morning we went to Home Depot to get some supplies to finish the guest bathroom (Weeee!) and then went to get one of my favorite things in the world, a Sonic beverage. We order our Sonic beverages, and then Caleb notices that, as it is a Saturday, there is a fundraiser going on for the Hebron High color guard. He immediately goes into a fantastic rant about how much he hates the color guard. He bashes their flags, mocks their outfits, and even goes so far as to complain about his tax dollars being wasted on their very existence. He said the words "I hate the color guard" at least 4 times. It's during this rant that a voice comes over the speaker and said "Excuse me, sir?" Turns out the credit card hadn't swiped correctly so they were waiting on us before they could deliver the order. There's no telling how much of his rant they listened to.

Monday, May 12, 2008

5 Months Old!

Today is Blythe's 5 month birthday. I know we've been bad about updating everyone on her and posting pictures, so here she is! We started solid foods last week and she has mastered bananas and cereal.No matter what you put in her mouth or how many times she's tasted it she makes this face after each bite...
But it's a fun new thing and even though she makes a face like she hates it she always opens her mouth for the next bite, so maybe that's just her face!
We've gotten some new toys too. We got a Johnny Jump Up thing for the doorway, but it appears she doesn't weigh enough to make it do anything. So really it was just a Johnny Hang in the Doorway. Luckily, the Sears family let us borrow Finn's exersaucer and she loves it (Thanks Sears!)! She stands in there screaming and laughing. Unfortunately, she can only reach the cow and lion buttons (and occasionally the duck) so the whole time she's in there all I hear is moooing and roaring and the occasional quack, but the animal noises are by far her favorite aspect. Even if you face her a different direction she'll keep turning until she finds them. So that's our girl, a little 5 month old ball of fun!

Friday, May 9, 2008

My Cheerleader Wife

I usually forget that my wife (Courtney) was a cheerleader in high school.  Since I wasn't around in those days, I don't feel so bad.


But occasionally, she will do something that reminds me of her high school hand-clapping bad-routine flat-bottom shoe ways.  Usually when she is doing something crafty (good, not bad) around the house I will see her writing in big bubbly letters and giggle in a high pitched voice and she reminds me that she wasn't always the sweet house-wife that she is now.

For example, this morning she was modge-podging and using metallic pens (and quite effectively I might add) and I made a comment about how I could never do that.

Her reply, "you forget I was a cheerleader in high school, if you had a craft paper sign I would run through it right now."

Good times.

Monday, April 28, 2008

The Bain of my existence

  We've just gotten back from Blythe's 4 month check up with Dr. Bain.  It didn't go so good.  The doc uses a laptop instead of charts, probably most drs. do that these days, but she just kept typing on it the whole time.  I had to repeat every question I asked, because she would be typing and not listening to me.  Afterwards, I heard her say something in the hall to one of the nurses about her email running slow, so I'm pretty sure she was emailing and not doing anything related to our visit.  She really was completely unhelpful when it came to my questions about starting solids.  The longest she talked about anything was when I told her Blythe had gotten the Rotavirus vaccine at 3 months which got me a 10 minute lecture!  One of the highlights was that I told her right off that Blythe was rolling from back to front and asked if it was ok for her to sleep on her stomach (I don't know why I asked cause there's not much I can do to stop her from sleeping on her stomach, but I asked anyway).  She said it was fine, then at the end of my 15 minutes with her she proceeded to tell me that in the next couple months the main thing I should be watching for was for her to roll from back to front and sit up.  Oh really, I should be watching for the thing I just told you she's already doing??  Good, check, I'll do that.  

  However, my favorite thing is the horribly unfriendly nurse who calls Blythe he and him the whole time we're in there.  I can overlook the fact that she's wearing a onesie with strawberries and cherries on it.. whatever, but HELLO!!  you are holding a laptop with all her medical information on it.  Are you telling me that you can not look down and see that you are dealing with a GIRL!  I will not pick "him" up or move "him."  "He's" not eating just fine... because HE is a SHE!!  For the love of all that is good and holy she's a girl!
  So from now on I will be going to the county clinic for well baby visits and vaccines.  I feel this is safer for the entire staff at Healthy Kids Pediatrics.  

What can 1 dollar really do?

I keep forgetting to post this, but it's a really cool idea that our friend Ben is a part of.  You can read about it on this website Big-ish small news - What can 1 dollar really do?


You know you have an extra dollar lying around and I just read on Ali's blog that they have another backer so they need another 500 people!  Please pass the word.  It's simple, it's easy, and it can make a huge difference in someone's life.

God Bless Herman!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Where do towns go when they die?

  This weekend we went to my Gramma K's 95th birthday party in Wellington, Texas.  Wellington is in the panhandle which is lots of cotton fields and dead or dying towns.  It's really sad actually.  Every town has a square with cool old buildings and siding houses, which I love.  But I guess people just start moving away and businesses close down and eventually they just die.... so strange.

  I would have to say the highlight of the weekend was probably playing 42 in our hotel room with Brandon and Valera.  Brandon and I have had our rough times as brother and sister, but have gotten over it and now I thoroughly enjoy hanging out with him.  I won't comment too much on the 42 game, because it turns out V is just as competitive as Brandon, but suffice it to say O'Corby rules!   It's always good to see the extended family, but we always seem to end up just hanging out with our inner circle.  
  As I was in the car for close to 9 hours this weekend I had lots of time to think and it turns out I want many conflicting things.  It's a wonder how 1 heart could want so many different things, but I do, so there it is.  Here's my plan for one of the things I want though.  I would love to live in an old town with 1 grocery store and every one knows each other's names.  However, I want to take my friends and family with me since there aren't any people in these towns from what I can tell.  So my plan is that when we all retire, we choose one of these old towns and all just move there.  We'll fix up the old buildings and at Christmas and Thanksgiving all our kids and their families will come to this old town and hang out together.  We can have all kinds of stupid holidays and festivals, ala Stars Hollow, cause we'll be the only people in the town.  And I think I will be mayor.  Or maybe sheriff.  Anyhoo... who's coming with me?!?!?!?

Friday, April 11, 2008

My Archnemesis

  Meet Colonel Stumpy McRootface.  He wears this pot as a helmet and uses that hose to whip puppies and bunnies as they go by.  In other words, he's evil... and ugly... and he's been mocking me ever since we moved into this house.  However, on Sunday, April 6th, 2008, he rooted his last stump as I destroyed him.  Interestingly, it only took me about 45 minutes.  His bark was much worse than his bite (HA, bark).  He was so incredibly dead that he wasn't even that heavy to carry to the curb.  With the fall of their leader the remaining three stumps surrendered very quickly on Monday afternoon.  So as of Monday the War on Stumps is over, with a resounding V-I-C-T-O-R-Y for the home team!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Jesus spent Saturday with us

  Not that Jesus.  Jesus the painter.  I thoroughly enjoy writing that because no matter how many times you read it or even if you know I'm talking about our spanish painting friend it still throws you off a little. 

  I'm sure many of you have noticed that all the doors in our house are a lovely yellow color whilst the trim is a nice white.  I should say were a lovely yellow color cause they ain't no mo!  It's funny how you get used to things like yellow doors, but I'm so incredibly glad to have that done!
  While Jesus painted, Caleb and I worked on the guest bathroom.  The weekend before we ripped everything out of the bathroom and discovered there was some wallpaper that was kind of peeling up.  We decided we would just put wainscoting over that part and move on with life.  The only problem is I started messing with it.  I, Courtney Allison Johnson, started to peel the paper.  I know I shouldn't have, but it was sitting there all curled up and just begging to be peeled.  So I did it.  Ya'll know I have no self control!  Unfortunately, under the paper, I found sheetrock.  Whoops.  So then we had to spend this Saturday fixing the lovely hole I had made and evening out the wall so it can be painted.  I finished fixing it today.  I have had my project decision making privileges revoked and must now run everything I'm about to do through Caleb.  I can't say I especially blame him for this new ruling.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Always wear a baby if you're in the need to haggle...

  We woke up Friday morning to a very dreary looking College Station.   We drove through more torrential rain to get to Warrenton, one of 5ish little towns that make up the Round Top Antiques Fair.  It rained on us most of the day and got cold so it wasn't the most fun I've ever had in my life, but we found some good stuff and overall it was a success.  

 I wore Blythe in her carrier most of the day and you wouldn't believe the oohing and aahing that caused.  The first place we stopped to make a purchase the guy ended up just giving me one of the bottles I wanted.  Technically, he gave it to Blythe.  I was severely groped by a large black woman who wanted to see Blythe's feet.  Unfortunately, I had the carrier and B on the inside of my jacket which meant she had to go fishing around my waist for them and don't worry she wasn't shy about it.  She frisked me better than airport security in London!  We came home with some ball jars, apothecary jars, a shelf for Blythe's room, a mirror for the guest bathroom, and a tricycle.  
  On a side note... I have always wanted rain boots, but could never justify them because when do you ever wear rain boots?  Well, you wear them when you're tromping around a muddy field in the rain... that's when you wear them.  There were tons of people with cute rain boots on and I felt left out.  However, now I have an excuse to buy some!!

Sunday, April 6, 2008

The Business of Being Born

I have much to report but don't want to write just one giant blog, so I will start from Thursday and give you a recap...
  On Thursday I watched "The Business of Being Born" with Jillian and it was really good.  I usually try and stay quiet about the whole birth center or home birth/natural birth vs. hospital/medicated birth because I would never want anyone to think their birth was less than perfect.  In the end, if you get a baby I say job well done!  This movie is amazing though and I wish more people would watch it if for no other reason than to understand why I had Blythe that way and to prove I'm not crazy.  It also made me remember Blythe's birth and the way it made me feel afterwards which was BADA$$!  Not in an "I'm so cool, I gave birth naturally" way, but in an "If you attack me I guarantee you will lose" way.  I understand how those moms pick up cars and move mountains off their children, because I felt like if I could do that I could do anything.  I also felt violently protective of my new baby.  I'm pretty sure if Fezzik had come at me with those giant paws of his I would have rampaged on him and won.  
  The thing that most stuck out in my head was someone in the movie saying something along the lines of "You go to the doctor or hospital when you are sick or injured.  Pregnancy and giving birth is neither a sickness or an injury... it's just life."  
  Then we loaded up the car and drove to College Station in what can only be described as a torrential downpour.  To be continued....

Thursday, March 27, 2008

The Amazing Sears!

  That makes them sound like a circus act, and while Kale does juggle, that's not what I mean.  They are some of the most thoughtfully kind friends I have ever had the privilege of having and here's the perfect example of why.

  Blythe and I have been having a hard time lately.  She doesn't really want to be held by anyone other than me, especially when she's in a crowd.  This made Easter weekend not very much fun.  We were with family and she was yelling at everyone unless I was holding her.  
  I was complaining to Erin about it this morning.  Just a short whiny email letting her know why I was being grouchy and not a very good friend.  Then I went to check their blog and saw that Finn was having ear tubes put in this morning.  He did great and they were back home very quickly.  
  This afternoon I went about my business running errands and got a message from Kale that they had left a package on our porch.  I was expecting it to be some passed down toys for Blythe, which is always a treat and greatly appreciated.  When I got home I went to get the package and 'lo and behold McCalister's Sweet Tea and cupcakes were on my door step!!  So they have a child who had minor surgery this morning, I have a grouchy baby that I'm whining about and they're the ones leaving the most fabulous presents ever for me!  Seriously, I can't think of anything that makes me happier than sweet tea and cupcakes.  It made my day!!!  
  Kale and Erin never forget a birthday, anniversary, and now even just a bad day.  They are always the first Christmas, Valentine's, and Easter card you get.  They're amazing.  I have no other way to explain it.  We truly do not deserve their friendship, but I am constantly unbelievably thankful for it.  I just wanted to give a big shout out to brag on them because as of this moment I have no way of repaying the wonderful gift from today.  
Love you guys!!!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Ahead of the Curve


As a result of my previous post "The Classic Man Shoe," I have received much grief and criticism.  Many of the remarks have even questioned my sense of style.


So in my defense, I would like to call upon a very respected source of men's fashion and style, the April 2008 issue of GQ magazine, page 78.

Call me a "style boy" if you will.

Monday, March 17, 2008

The Great Stump War of 2008

I, Courtney Allison Johnson, have declared war with the stumps.  Our front flower beds are filled with gnarly, mean, ugly looking stumps.  Whatever natural green thing that once drew life from these stumps has long since passed away.  Saturday I declared war with a full shovel assault.  To show the stumps I wasn't playing around I attacked 3 of their living comrades.  After 45 minutes of hacking I called in re-enforcements in the form of Caleb.  After 45 minutes he had completely removed 2 of the ugly bushes proving, yet again, he's a big burly man and I am but a dainty girl.  Day one had to go to the home team (those of us living in the home).  We suffered minor injuries when I ran into a water faucet and scraped my shin up, a grasshopper tried to take out my eye, and a lizard the length of my forearm made a run at me causing me to scream like the dainty girl I had already proved to be.  Sunday Caleb removed the final living stump making it a highly successful weekend.  I make this vow to everyone who reads this.  No stump in my front yard will survive the year 2008.  I'm fed up with their ugly stump ways and I WILL HAVE NO MORE OF IT!!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I've been Tagged

I got tagged twice so I figured I'd better respond so here ya go...


10 years ago: Like both the people who tagged me, Em and Jill, I was in high school.  Hating track, taking an unholy and unhealthy amount of ibuprofen, and goofing around with friends.  

Things on my to do list today:
1.  Return a pair of shoes to DSW - I got 2 right shoes even though I had a conversation specifically about such things happening as the guy supposedly "checked." I've decided he doesn't know his right from his left so all shoes looked the same to him
2.  Clean the floors with the new vacuum cleaner that came yesterday - no more sweeping and shop vacing!
  Here's the problem with my to do list... it has about 87 items on it.  Most of which have been there for circa 87 days.  I love making lists and unlike sweet Jillian I don't really care if I accomplish everything or anything at all.  If I don't it just gives me something for my list of things to do the next day.  So here's the short version of everything else.  Clothes to hem, take in, or replace buttons.  Organize our office, wash the dog who smells like death warmed over, and a plethora of other things to plan, research, or purchase.
  The only thing I usually accomplish is sitting around hanging out with Blythe!

What would I do if I became a billionaire:
Give to my family, church, and friends
Travel - Greece, Italy, Egypt, Anywhere that popped into my mind
Get a pilot's license and buy a plane to travel in
Get a giant farmhouse in the middle of nowhere for most of the year, a beautiful beach house for the summer, and maybe a downtown apartment in Seattle or Boston just for the heck of it. 
I would have lots of old cars.. vintage jaguar, old land cruiser, etc...
I'd open my own coffee shop/bar/book store/boutique
Buy lots of bags, coats, and shoes!!

Three of my many bad habits:
Being lazy, not returning phone calls and emails, and being judgmental 

5 jobs I've had:
Papa John's order taker
Sonic girl
Waitress at Swensen's
Camp Counselor
Purchasing and Inventory Control at PrimeSource

5 things people don't know about me:
1.  I think I would become a hermit if left to my own devices.  I can go weeks without seeing or speaking to anyone.
2.  I have no self control whatsoever when it comes to food and drinks. 
3.  I was accepted into grad school in Australia (RMIT to be exact) to get a masters in advertising, but didn't think it was worth the money since I planned on being a stay at home mom eventually.
4.  I've started playing around trying to learn how to tailor clothes, so I can make my clothes fit me better.
5.  I would love to be able to paint, draw, take pictures, or anything else, but seem to have no artistic ability at all.  

I will now tag Erin, Casey Face, Hayley, Mama J, and I'll double tag Massey since it worked on me!

Monday, March 3, 2008

Hello all, I know it's been awhile so here's the short rundown of what's been going on...

   Caleb's trip to the Middle East was a success.  He ate his first camel burger and saw the mall with a ski resort inside.  His trip was also extended to include a trip to London so he didn't get back until the 23rd.  Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Blythe and I were very busy.  She's working on rolling over and can do it if you position her hands for her, but I've been told that doesn't count.  She also had her first outright laugh which involved me dancing to Missy Elliot's "We Run This."  There have been a couple more half giggles, but nothing like that again.  We're looking forward to it being a common occurrence.  She has decided she's much happier in life when she doesn't have clothes on, so we're terribly excited about summer and warmer weather!  Hence why she has no clothes on in any of the attached pictures.
   We have purchased the P90X workout DVDs and yesterday was the first day of our 90, so 89 to go!  I won't lie I'm pretty stinkin' sore and I didn't do but maybe 1/2 the reps I was supposed to.  I will be highly impressed with myself if/when I can do a full video.  Right now I'm just attempting to at least do one of everything.    
   So that's what's going on with us, not much to report.  Here are a few pictures of our girl though...

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Happy 2 Month Birthday, Blythe!

So today is B's 2 month birthday and we went for her checkup.  She is now 9 lbs. 14 oz. and 22.5" long.  That makes her in the 26th percentile for weight and 58th percentile for height.  Basically, she's a baller.. tall and lanky with a wicked fade away.  

I'm not supposed to be using the chair thingy yet, but she didn't seem to mind.  She was hungry and squirmy at the time so I apologize for the blurriness.
In other news, Caleb is packing to go overseas as I type this.  He got back on Thursday night from San Francisco.   His boss called Saturday night to tell him he needed to go to the Middle East on Wednesday.  So off he goes again.  This time me and Blythe will be going it alone because the Corbin family has scattered as of last night.  My over 90 Gramma K fell at church last week and broke some ribs.  Sunday night they decided she needed to be moved to a bigger hospital so mom went to Wellington to be with her.  The Chief is in Galveston, I believe, but I could be wrong about that.  So me and B will be spending the week alone... Caleb returns next Wednesday.  Wish us luck!!  Rightfully so, Caleb is standing beside me singing "All by Myself" the Celine Dion version.  We're off to watch Entourage... Good night!


Saturday, February 9, 2008

Blythe Dancing

Dolphins Jumping

I keep smelling my Gramma

For the past couple days I keep smelling my Gramma.  Not that I'm leaning over and actually sniffing her, but that I'll just randomly be walking through the house and smell something that makes me think of my Gramma K.  I have finally deduced that it's my hair.  I bought new shampoo on Wednesday and I believe that is the culprit!  So now I'm incredibly curious to know if my Gramma uses Pantene.  

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

The American Idol Political Race

Travelling always provides new insight into our immediate changing culture. Airports allow people to exchange ideas with little caution. Either motivated by the absence of security or alcohol, people are almost encouraged to converse with other travellers, sharing self-promoting stories and random political views.

For the last 36 hours I have caught TV stories on the popular news channels, in airports and hotels, discussing the political race at hand. In California, the overwhelmingly popular story has been Maria Shriver backing Obama, while The Governner is backing a republican.

But the consistent theme in all of the stories, in all of the coverage, is not what is best for the country, but "Who is Going to Win."

Our culture's obsession with American Idol is a clear indicator of the common man's dissatisfaction with average. The sad part is not that we are dissatisfied, but that we are unwilling to work hard for something great. We are more willing to trade hard work for a lottery ticket and a tryout for fame.

That being said, this political race has been turned into an American Idol season with 5 candidates left and Wolf Blitzer as Ryan Seacrest. I don't think that the American people care what their candidate does if they get elected. They just want to go to work the day after Election Day and brag to their co-workers, "My Candidate Won."

It is a competition for CEO of a country that is for sale, driven by the media who does not care what is best for the country, who does not care who wins, just how many people watch it happen.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Blythe and Her Daddy

So there are mixed reviews, but I think the majority of people say  Blythe looks like Caleb.  So here they are in all their dimpled smile glory....

The first time they met...
That is technically Caleb holding her, I just thought it was a funny picture....
Playing guitar together....
Hanging out....
Just waking up....

Monday, January 28, 2008

Ingredients for a fantastic evening

1.  Cinnamon Buns bubble bath

2.  Big Red
3.  Clive Cussler novel
4.  Dane Cook special on TV

Mix ingredients well and enjoy!!

Monday, January 21, 2008

Blissful Sleep


Last night we had our third night of a 6 hour span of sleep. Oh sleep, my dear sweet friend, how I've missed you so!! Two times last week she did it, I figured it was just random, but I'm praying this is the beginning of a beautiful rekindled friendship with my elusive friend sleep. Last night she kind of owed us though. Saturday night she woke up at 3 am and decided that was enough sleep for her. So my dear sweet husband got to delight in some 3 am Xbox. So here's to you Baby Blythe... may you sleep like a baby... and don't even get me started on that phrase.

Friday, January 18, 2008

And who is wrong...

Courtney is wrong.

There is a third law of thermodynamics

The third law of thermodynamics is an axiom of nature regarding entropy and the impossibility of reaching absolute zero of temperature. The most common enunciation of third law of thermodynamics is:
“As a system approaches absolute zero of temperature, all processes cease and the entropy of the system approaches a minimum value.”

It can be concluded as 'If T=0K, then S=0' where T is the temperature of a closed system and S is the entropy of the system.
The essence of the postulate is that the entropy of the given system near absolute zero depends only on the temperature (i.e. tends to a constant independently of the other parameters).

Oh.

Caleb: "So Ken Fischer died today"

Courtney: "Who's Ken Fischer?"

Caleb: "The Chess Guy!"

Courtney: "Bobby Fischer?"

Caleb: "Ya, Bobby Fischer, whatever. Anyway, apparently he was a total nut-job. He totally thought the Jewsish nation was out to get him. He went into seclusion for 20 years."

Courtney: "Ya, that's the whole 'Searching for Bobby Fischer thing.'"

Caleb: Ya, I never got that joke."

Courtney: "It's not a joke...it's a movie"

Caleb: "Oh."

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Caleb just said these words to me...

"Heat transfer... it's the transfer of heat."


Thanks.  His feable attempt at explaining the 2nd law of thermodynamics to me.  

Why are we discussing the 2nd law of thermodynamics?  You don't want to know.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

True Fact

Sharks can only be found in two places on earth... the northern and southern hemispheres.


I heart Steven Zahn.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Please stop screaming at me...

I know I know, she's a month old and we've hardly posted any pictures and I'm in trouble.  I will throw a random one at the bottom of this post, but I come here today to share with you an exchange from the movie Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang that cracked me up today...

Harry: I got 5 bucks that says you still have a chance with him.
Perry: I got a 10 that says "pass the pepper" and 2 quarters that sing harmony.
Harry:  What?
Perry:  Talking money.
Harry: A talking monkey??
Perry: (nodding) Talking monkey, uh huh.  He came here from the future.  Ugly sucker, only says "ficus."

Man, I love movies.  And this one had a gag reel, which makes me love it even more.
And now your baby fix for the evening...
Blythe and the Chief on Thursday the 10th.  He came over at lunch to hold his granddaughter for a bit.  This picture has been submitted to the Wylie paper for printing.  As I understand it, they asked dad what his New Year's resolution was, and he said it was to spoil his new grandbaby as much as possible.  So mom sent them this picture.  All you Wylieanites... Wylieans??  keep a lookout for it!!