Beedy Little Eyed Freak!

  We leave our back door open a lot because Sasquatch is insane.  That's a different story for a different day, the door being open is the detail you need for this story.  On more than one occasion I have walked into the kitchen to find a bird eating from Squatch's bowl, but as soon as I round the corner they'll fly back outside.  It makes me jump every time, but things could be worse.

  Today... things got worse.  I was minding my own business, folding some laundry on the couch, when I hear a THUMP against one of the front windows.  I look up and see a fluttering and thought a bird had hit the window from the outside.  Then I hear the same THUMP behind me, and turn around to see it.  The beedy little eyed freak flying around my house.  He's doing laps basically, running into the front window and then hitting the mirror on the back wall.  Well, as any logical mama would do, I grab Blythe and put her in her room and close the door.  My "logical" thought was that the bird was somehow going to peck my baby's eyes out... I don't know why, but that was the first thing that went through my head.  Then I get my phone and call Caleb.  Caleb is at work.  I have no idea what purpose I thought he would have in the matter, I just needed to tell someone there was a bird in the house and he seemed like the logical choice.   Let's face it at this point all reason had left my brain.    

  So I'm standing in the hall doing the "hop from one leg to the other, I've got to pee" dance and whining about the bird in the house to Caleb.  His first question is, "What's Sasquatch doing?"  Sasquatch is doing nothing, because it's trash day which means she's hiding in our bedroom, because she's insane.  Again, different story for a different day.  Caleb tells me to get a blanket to throw over the bird which I can then carry outside and release the bird.  During this conversation the bird goes back into the kitchen.  I follow to see that the backdoor has somehow closed and the bird is just ramming it repeatedly.  So instead of throwing the blanket over the bird, I put it over my head to shield me from attack (I put the phone down, but made Caleb stay on the line... again, we are without reason by this time).  I run into the kitchen causing the bird to fly into the ceiling and then it starts ramming the window and I get the door open and run back into the doorway.  It is at this time that Sasquatch appears almost knocks me over in her mad rush to get outside, leaving me and the bird inside to battle it out.  Then the bird lands on the top of the door, so I do the girly "Shoo" motion and it flies outside.  At which point, Sasquatch comes back inside and gives me the "What are we doing?" face.  

  So my dog would never survive in the wild.  She probably wouldn't survive in a parking lot filled with bacon, but she will now have to survive without the door being open all the time cause homey don't play birds in the house!