Useless Conversations

This past weekend we drove to Houston and back on Saturday for one of Caleb's childhood friend's wedding. Rachel Blythe Durr, now Parker, to be exact... and yes, it's where Caleb got our little one's name. It was in Kingwood, Tx which is where Caleb grew up for the most part. We have been there before, mostly for MacFest, so I've gotten the tour, but that did not stop Caleb from pointing out everything again. "I once stopped to tie my shoe over there." "One time I sneezed over there." You get the idea. He has also been driving to Houston a lot for work, so this caused the useless pointing out of landmarks to continue on our journey home. I eventually commented on how chatty he was being, which somehow lead to us trying to figure out what percentage of our conversations together were useless. After much debate we decided on 65%.

We had left Houston at 8:30pm, so it was getting pretty late and we pulled into a Sonic for a caffeine boost. We apparently were in the only part of the US of A that didn't have a Starbucks. As many of you might know I used to work at Sonic, so anytime we go Caleb likes to quiz me on how things work. I decided to have a M&M blast, which caused Caleb to ask me what it was. I told him it was like a sundae. He told me I was wrong, which considering I'm like the queen of ice cream seemed weird. He claimed that a sundae consisted of 5 main ingredients: ice cream, chocolate syrup, nuts, whipped cream, and a cherry on top. Well, we ALL know that's just incorrect. So I went on to tell him that the Sonic menu alone had at least 4 other kinds of sundaes and those didn't even begin to cover the whole world of sundae toppings. He asked what those would be so I went on to list out some of the choices: strawberry, caramel, hot fudge, and even pineapple. "Pineapple?" he asked. Yes, pineapple, like on a banana split, I told him. He replied, "So I could hit the button and say I would like pineapple on my sundae." "Yes, you could say exactly that." He then tried to say this horrific joke, "Well, I only like pineapple on my Mondays." Only, much to my delight it didn't come out like that. It had at least 3 extra "s's" in it. I can't even really write what he said, but here's my attempt. "Well, I onsly like pisnesapples ons my Mondays." After I stopped mocking him, I pointed out that this would be a fantastic example of the 65% of our conversations that are useless.

I couldn't make this up if I tried...

Last night we spent the night at my parents. They installed our new countertops yesterday and it stunk. I rocked Blythe to sleep and put her to bed and when I came back to the living room there was a really old copy of Pilgrim's Progress on the end table. So I pointed to it and asked, "What's with the book?" Turns out Caleb had never read it. Somehow that had come up and my parents were lending him their copy. Now, hold that thought for a moment.

My family has what I like to call Corbinisms. Things we say all the time, that I don't even realize are strange until I say them in front of people outside the Corbin family and am met with silence and worried looks. One of the most used sayings is, "Get in Ida!" Way back in the day when cars were just replacing horse drawn carriages my great Uncle Elzie and great Aunt Ida were getting used to their new car. The story goes that Ida was a little slow getting in this new fangled contraption so my Uncle Elzie would just start the car and get moving before Ida was completely in the car. This would leave her hopping along beside the moving vehicle trying to get both feet in and the door closed all the while Elzie would be yelling, "Get in, Ida!!"

Back to last night.
I asked what was with the book and this was my dad's answer. I would call it a conversation, except it wasn't. He just kept talking. At times, the other 3 of us were talking over him or laughing about something, but he never really stopped his story. So here is what he said as close to verbatim as I can get it.

"You know that has Ida Parr's name in the front of that book. Ida as in "Get in, Ida!" Did you know that we lived with the Parrs while Daddy (my grandpa George) built our little house. The house that later became the first library in Coppell. It was not the greatest of houses. The floors were so slanted that you could sit against one wall, roll a ball to the other wall and it would come back to you. It wasn't very tight either. One night I got up to go to the bathroom and got stung on the toe by a scorpion. We had one of those crank phones too. (He is pantomiming holding the receiver to his ear with his left hand and cranking with his right.) You would say, 'Mrs. Barfnecht, connect me to Pleasant Corbin please.' My Uncle Pleasant Corbin lived across the street. He had a motorcycle with a sidecar. He also had a pet goat and he would put that goat in the side car and ride around with it."

His soliloquy ended there. What else can you say after you've given the mental picture of a man named Pleasant riding around on a motorcycle with a goat in his side car.

Sweet Jump

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